Comedians

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins has revealed the hilarious reason his wife sometimes gets mad at him. Its one of the weirdest reasons you will likely hear. Nevertheless, Tim states that his wife will get upset with him for what he did. Marriage is a beautiful institution. Its a commitment and a lifelong partnership between two people who love one another. Those two individuals vow to remain together regardless of lifes circumstancesgood or bad. When one is down, the other is there to love, lift up and support the other person. Marriage is truly one of the best things about life. However, much like people, no marriage is perfect. A marriage involves two flawed people; it will never be perfect. There will be disagreements and arguments, some of which may even get heated. Your spouse may believe you should have done that when you do this. Those actions and differences in opinions could result in someone sleeping on the couch for a few nights. In a clip on YouTube, Tim hysterically explains how and why he sometimes receives an earful from his wife. And it all concerns what he did in her dreams. Yes, he states that his wife will sometimes express how she didnt appreciate how he acted in her dreams. Sometimes my wife gets mad at me for behaving wrong in her dreams, he said. That aint fair. Later in the clip, Tim recalls a dream his wife told him about in which he did the wrong thing, causing her to become upset with him. A grizzly bear was chasing me through the woods with its teeth, he said. He was going to eat me, and you did nothing! You just sat there, and you didnt do a thing. No marriage is worth ruining over some petty disagreement or tiffreal or imaginary. We should all strive to treat our spouses with the utmost love, respect and concern, whether we are awake or not. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall join to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Siri and Kids.

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Comedian Nazareth complains about how much his daughter spends on Makeup!

The legendary Tim Conway experienced hilarious microphone difficulties in an iconic Carol Burnett Show sketch. For someone giving a public, televised address, having their microphone cut in and out has to be the worst possible scenario. Public addresses become worthless and pointless if no one can hear the speaker. Public addresses are typically serious business. They are used to impart and dispense much-needed and potentially life-or-death knowledge and information. Whether it be a politician, a doctor or a public safety official during an emergency, citizens need to know what to do and where to go. Of course, the best way to get that information out to people is by posting on social media or through the power of television by a public address. So, understanding how necessary and vital public addresses are, all precautions should be taken to ensure everything goes according to plan. The speaker should be familiar with what hes going to say, and the equipment to make the address possible should be tested and ready to go. Sometimes, its not possible to plan for every imaginable outcome. Mishaps, mistakes and blunders do happen. Were all human, and weve been known to make an error or two. The worst possible situation is precisely what happens when Tim Conway tries to give a public address. His microphone cuts in and out relatively early in his speech, so listeners can only hear every second or third word. Then, someone tries to fix his microphone on the fly, making things much worse. The sketch is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Seconds into the clip, the audience is rolling with laughter. Its likely one of the funnier things youll likely ever see. But what is likely the most fantastic part of the entire clip is that Tim never breaks character. He never even smirks slightly. Most people would have burst into laughter almost immediately. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins hilariously explains why age doesnt always bring wisdom, as most people would like to believe and think. No one enjoys getting older or being reminded of the fact. However, time and the aging process remain undefeated, and their perfect records will likely stay intact for years to come. No one has found a way around either of them yet, but I guess theres always hope (probably not, though). However, while aging is something everyone endures, many have found comfort in the saying and the belief that wisdom comes with age. Well, it turns out that that might not always be the case. In a short and hilarious clip posted on social media, Tim mentions how he doesnt feel like hes gotten much smarter while he has gotten older. In fact, he goes so far as to say hes gone in the opposite direction and become dumber. Dont get me wrong, Im an idiot, I know, Tim says. Its like the older I get, I just keep getting dumber. You know what Im saying? Tim then provides a hysterical example of why he believes hes only gotten dumber as he ages. I mean, sure, I wouldnt have eaten the jawbreaker I found under my car seat if I knew it was a paintball. You know, sure, it, it just looks good. He also offers some helpful advice about eating something that appears to be candy, especially when you believe the item you found to be an MM but is not marked exactly like the popular candy. Folks, never eat an MM with an M on it, he says. Thats a good rule to live by right there. Thats important information for you. Might be a Skittle, might be a Midol. You dont know that. In that clip, Tim again proves he is hilarious and more than capable of getting audiences doubled over and rolling with laughter. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Legendary entertainers Bob Hope and Bing Crosby shined in a hilarious classic sketch. There are a handful of entertainers whose work has lived on long after they have passed away. One of the most obvious, the one that likely comes to mind first, is Elvis Presley. His music is still widely listened to, and his movies are still watched. His Christmas tunes are heard every year and covered by nearly every musician. Other entertainers in this unique, elite class of musicians and actors are Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson. Their influence in the entertainment world will likely last for years. All of them were responsible for some of the most iconic and beloved songs and movies of all time. Bob Hope and Bing Crosby are two other iconic entertainers whose work has lived on long after their deaths. A clip posted on YouTube features the two legendary Hollywood stars in a hilarious, laugh-out-loud sketch. Its one sure to keep you laughing as the two men quickly spout jokes and hit one another with one quick-witted insult after another. Bob, whose place is undergoing renovations, is planning to stay with Bing for a few days. Bob clarifies that he appreciates Bing putting him up, but Bing makes several comments indicating that Bob staying at his place is more than a little inconvenience. Bing has even drawn up a lease and demands rent upfront. He then hits him with a handful of house rules. But things get even more awkward as Bing learns of other, more well-off people interested in purchasing his house immediately. They have one stipulation: Bob has to go tonight. So, Bing does everything he can to get Bob out of the house. Throughout the hysterical clip, there are several points where Bing and Bob nearly break character and almost burst into laughter. However, somehow, they are able to keep from doing so. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Get ready to laugh. Check out this video on a comedians side-splitting take on battling telemarketers and the remote control. Peter Fogel first jokes about knobs on the television when he grew up. He shares that he is from a generation of maps and that once you open a map, you can never return it to its original form. The audience laughs. He then shares about the GPS that exists today. He makes light of the GPS, creating a device where a woman tells a man how to drive, and the audience chuckles. He goes on to pretend to be the voice of the GPS, Turn right, make a right, my mothers right youre a loser let me out of this car. Everyone giggles in the crowd. He then talks about how different languages can be programmed. The comedian then shares a joke about trying to be a telemarketer with a telemarketer who is calling his phone. He says his response is, Good evening, tax support, can I help you? He says that the man is confused asking who called whom? He tells the audience that they need to have fun in life. He goes on to share about being a bachelor and that on Halloween he once gave out packets of duck and soy sauce. He then shares that he poured in the rest of the lo mein. He tells the humor of going in front of a driver who is looking for a parking spot during the holiday season and walking slowly in front of him while holding his car keys. He goes on to talk about the wireless remote control. He says that the man who invented the remote died recently and his final request was to be buried in between two couch cushions. The audience laughs. As you enjoy a good bit of laughter from this video, may you be reminded of Gods gift of humor. He tells us so often to rejoice, and part of finding our joy in Him, is knowing that we are free to laugh in life. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a persons strength. Proverbs 17:22

Nazareth hilarious 2 minute bit about medications pharmacists

One comedian, Jeff Allen, shared his moving and funny testimony. No one is worthy of Gods love, grace and forgiveness. Everyone is a sinner, and the Bible confirms this. In Romans, it reads that all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. Romans also mentions that there is no one good, not even one. But despite our sin, disobedience and willfully turning away from God, He still sent His one and only Son to take our place on the cross. Jesus Christ endured a painful, agonizing and humiliating death on the cross so that we might be forgiven and experience eternal life with Him. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jeff mentioned how he, who was an Atheist from Chicago, ended up a born-again Christian telling jokes in churches around the country. He adds that his path from Atheist to a born-again believer who professes faith in Jesus Christ started when he attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He wanted to stop drinking. Well, God did that and so much more. Jeff states that during those meetings, he was told to place his trust in a higher power, which he refused to do. He states that he could not and would not do that because of his ego. But God did not give up on him. God put a man in my life who was doing comedy for $100 bucks a week, Jeff said. The guy was worth, I dont know, $4, $5, $6 million, sold his business, made millions of dollars. Just wanted to go on the road and do comedy. He was 50-sum years old, wasnt a very good comic. God finally reached Jeff through an unlikely and hilarious interaction on the golf course with this man. Because of his immense wealth, this man had access to some of the most excellent golf courses in the country. Thats all I needed to hear, Jeff said. He was my new best friend. What I didnt know about him was that he was a fundamentalist Christian, and I didnt know that. And were sitting on the fairway one day, just talking, and were talking about life. Were talking about this, and were talking about that. At one point during their conversation, this gentleman brings up the Bible. Aww, I said, Dont give me the Bible. I dont want to hear the Bible, Jeff said. And he says, What do you mean? And I said, Im an Atheist; I dont believe in that garbage. And he says, What is it about the Bible you dont think is true? I said, I dont know, I never read it. And he goes, Youre not an Atheist, youre a moron.

One comedian, Jonnie W., shared some side-splitting observations about the fun and chaos of being an uncle. Children are a tremendous blessing in life. Any and every parent would wholeheartedly agree with that statement. They wouldnt trade a single moment with their youngsters for anything. Mothers and fathers understand that time with their children is precious and fleeting. Once those moments are gone, they will never be able to recover them. However, parenthood is a big responsibility and may not be the right move for everyone. Or that couple might not be in a place to have children now. It could happen in the future for them. Thats why being an aunt or an uncle can be a fun task until kids of their own come along. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jonnie W. shares a hilarious story about his nephew. He also makes some accurate and hysterical observations about being an uncle instead of a parent. His comments are enough to have you doubled over with laughter. Im an uncle, like thats cool, Jonnie said. Like, nobody ever claps when you say youre an uncle, and they shouldnt, okay? You dont have to have a lot of skills, you know? You got two rules when youre an uncle, you know? Dont be creepy, and keep them alive. That is it! He also mentioned a specific incident involving his 5-year-old nephew, who comes over to his house from time to time. Jonnies mischievous nephew came across a can of gold spray paint at this particular time. A second child, who lives next door, had a hammer. This did not end well. Jonnie says it ended with his 5-year-old nephew absolutely covered in gold spray paint. But because Jonnie is an uncle and not a parent, the 5-year-old returns to his parents at the end of the day. Sometimes, it pays to be an uncle or an aunt and not a parent. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the right way, even when he is old he will not be turned away from it.

Comedian Tim Hawkins has delivered a laugh-out-loud song parody about the Dollar Store. Money isnt everything in life, but it is needed to survive in this world. Having too little of it can most certainly lead to problems. Money struggles, as people who have experienced them know, are in no way a good time. Thats why its essential to always try to make those monetary funds go as far as possible. Buying in bulk at places like Sams and Costco can help your dollar go further. Other retailers also allow consumers to purchase necessary items at a significantly marked-down price. Of course, the one that immediately comes to mind is the Dollar Store. In a clip posted on social media, Christian comedian Tim Hawkins sings a hysterical parody about picking up items at the Dollar Store. Tim once again displays his comedic genius, this time in the short clip. His song lyrics are hilarious and get the studio audience roaring with laughter. But that is not all. Yes, Tims lyrics are enough to cause you to double over with laughter, but the tune he uses will likely be very familiar to Bob Denver fans. If youre drawing a blank and unable to name that tune, dont worry, its Thank God Im a Country Boy. In the opening moments of the clip, Tim hilariously details a situation many may find themselves in needing things but not having a ton of cash to purchase them. However, as Tim sings, there is a solution: The Dollar Store. Well never really had a lot of money in the bank Its hard to pay the mortgage and fill the gas tank Thats why I want to take a little time to thank, thank God for the Dollar Store It gets even funnier after that as Tim rattles off a long list of items that can be purchased cheaply at the discount retailer. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

One comedians hilarious flow chart routine has his audience rolling with laughter. Life is an unexpected series of events. No one can predict what the future might bring. But regardless of this uncertainty, everyone wants to enjoy a long and healthy life that is full of love and free of pain. Happiness is the ultimate goal every person hopes to achieve in life. Sure, many people would prefer a job that pays them a healthy salary, to live in a nice house and have a lot of other material possessions. But if youre unhappy and dont have people around who love and appreciate you, that other stuff is meaningless. Of course, real, true happiness is only found in Jesus Christ. In a clip posted on YouTube, Don McMillian tries to find the steps that lead to happiness in life. What makes people happy? What steps and moves do they have to take to achieve happiness? These are the questions Don hopes to answer in the video, and he does so while using several flow charts, making for an absolutely hysterical segment. Don explains that while his son was little, he tried to discover how to become happy. He wanted to understand the steps to happiness, do them, and then become happy. In doing this, he discovered the small but important things that make a baby happy and himself and the long-drawn-out process required to make his wife happy. Hilariously, Don shows that the flow chart becomes much more complicated as we age. As expected, what makes a one-month-old content is different for a person in their 50s. But near the end of his routine, Don reveals something startling about his findings. The steps to happiness for an infant and an elderly person in their 90s are very similar. What a unique and hysterical stand-up bit that will get you laughing uncontrollably, much like the audience in the clip! Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

One comedian, Jonnie W., hilariously imagined what dogs would say if they could talk. Most people, even those who dont have pets, still love and appreciate animals and the joy they can and do bring people. However, for those who do have pets, most absolutely love their animals and would do anything in their power for their cat or dog. If little Sparky or Tiger needed something, pet owners would not rest until that need was fulfilled. Pet owners are a giving group of people. They do most things for their pets without thinking twice about it. Another thing that most pet owners do is talk to their pets. Yes, we know animals cannot respond verbally or likely even understand much of what were saying, but that doesnt stop the conversation from happening on our end. But what if our cute, furry, four-legged friend did have the ability to speak? Jonnie W. imagines how they might respond to us. What he comes up with is bound to have you double over in laughter. The clip begins with Jonnie referencing talking dog videos on social media. Please tell me you understand your dog would not say, I love you if it could talk, he said. Your dogs had it up to here with you. OK? If your dog could talk, itd be more like this, Hey, I really appreciate this dry kibble youve been feeding me. Oh, a juicy steak sandwich for you? Well, good you earned it, buddy. Jonnie also believes a talking dog would address what so many pet owners do to their pets: talk to them while using baby talk. And for the last time, will you stop with the baby talk? Jonnie says. I am 47 years old. I am a grown-up, and I expect to be treated as such. Genesis 1:21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moves, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

One comedian, Mike James, gave his absolutely hysterical takes on driving, speeding and the passing lane. For most people, driving is an activity they spend a lot of time doing. Many individuals drive dailyat least to and from work Monday through Friday. Sure, in some places like New York City, Boston, Washington D.C., Chicago and San Francisco, public transportation is widely used, making driving a car unnecessary. But driving a car is a must for people who live in other places than major metropolitan areas. Whenever you spend a massive amount of time doing anything, youre bound to find something about it that annoys or irritates you. Its simply going to happen. You can likely easily name a handful of things that rub you the wrong way about driving or, more specifically, other drivers. In a clip posted on YouTube, comedian Mike James hilariously addresses all those driving annoyances. One of Mikes biggest pet peeves regarding other drivers is those who turn their turn signals on and never execute a turn. What exactly are they doing anyway? If you ever get in front of me and leave your blinker on, I will follow you to your house, Mike said. Im going to pull up in your driveway, roll that window down, Turn that blinker off! And show me how to get home; Im lost. Ive been following you for two hours! Another big problem with driving today is that people cannot be away from their phones for more than a few minutes. Mike hysterically explains how he would handle such a situation. Another area likely to irritate drivers is when people fail to use the left lane properly. As Mike uproariously states, the left lane is for passing and not using it as a place to drive even slower. And a lot of people dont know what the left lane is for, Mike said. The left lane is the law-breaking lane, right! If you dont plan on breaking the law, dont get your slow, speed-limit-driving behind over there. We dont need you regulating our speed; we might want a ticket. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

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