Necessary Discipline

Audio By Carbonatix

Discipline is never easy. Think about how many diets you’ve tried or how many times you said you were going to start exercising and didn’t. There are probably hundreds of books you meant to read or a closet you intended to organize. It’s hard to discipline ourselves, let alone our children.

However, discipline is a critical foundation for sound parenting. The problem is parents know discipline doesn’t equate to fun or peace, so they tend to avoid it. Often, a child doesn’t understand discipline, and very few of them see it as a benefit. Disciplining kids presents a situation that is really not pleasant for anyone, but it’s very necessary. That’s why parents are responsible to establish a disciplinary system early on in their children’s lives. These are guidelines that help keep your children safe while they learn to live within boundaries.

The word “boundary” brings about thoughts of limitations. It’s a word that can have negative connotations, but in this case it’s very positive. That’s because boundaries help children when they are young. It will help them as they mature into adults to know how to live by rules. If they never learn this, they may grow up without a healthy respect for authority. In the workplace, they could be the person everyone avoids because of their selfish behavior. They may fail as a spouse or parent because they don’t understand how to cooperate within the boundaries of a loving marriage and family. As independent, functioning members of society, they will be expected to operate according to a multitude of rules.

Unfortunately discipline usually isn’t effective unless it involves discomfort. I’m not talking about physical pain, and nobody should use this as a justification for any action that would be abusive. I’m referring to methods that you can employ that will effectively get the attention of your children. One of the best approaches you can take is to learn what your children really enjoy and then take away one of these pleasures as discipline. If you do that, you’ll have their attention. Don’t give in to their kicking and screaming, and you will experience the benefits of correction. You can be aware of the things they enjoy by simply observing their behavior. What works as discipline with one child may not be effective with the others. This means you have to adjust the way you discipline depending on each child’s personality.

If a parent is diligent and consistent with discipline, it will eventually bring peace to the home. Your children may not always be excited about the boundaries that exist for them, but ultimately, they will come to appreciate them. Your goal as a parent is not to become best friends with your children, but to be their best advocate and protector. Ironically, later on, they will call you their friend as they begin to understand the wisdom of your decisions and those boundaries you developed for their benefit.

Parenting is as much about the present as it is about the future. It’s hard in the present to look at your toddler’s cute little face and take away their favorite toy. Worse yet is grounding your teenager from the most important dance of the year because they missed their curfew one too many times. Yet both situations may be necessary in order to raise thoughtful, loving, and disciplined children who will be able to graduate from high school and maybe college, hold down a job, and participate in loving relationships.