My Wife’s Mirror

Audio By Carbonatix

Few people will pass up the opportunity to check themselves out whenever they walk by a mirror. I think almost everyone checks on the off chance that they might see something that is amiss. Maybe it’s food in their teeth, a hair out of place, or, heaven forbid, something near the nose! Well, I was checking myself in the mirror the other morning and I happened to see something. Not anything on me, but something taped to the bathroom mirror that simply said, “Be quick to listen and slow to speak.”

I knew Jane must have put it there because I had not, even though I’m the one that could use that reminder. She’s pretty good at listening, but maybe that’s because she is reminded each day as she gets ready and uses that mirror. The thought really stuck in my head for a while because, admittedly, I tend to be the person in our relationship who causes more of the problems. Apparently, I’m paying attention to the wrong thing when I look in the mirror.

What might change in your relationship or with your family dynamics if everyone stopped reacting so quickly to situations and started thinking more before they spoke? The familiar saying about this is that God gave us two ears and only one mouth so that we would listen twice as much as we speak. I think it’s true. When you look back on challenges you’ve had in your marriage or family life, can you ever remember attributing those issues to someone listening too much? Has your wife ever gotten mad at you because you listened?

No, of course not. Conflict usually starts because of what you said or did. Too often in family relationships, when one person is speaking, the other person is actually preparing their defense or preparing their statement instead of truly listening.

Listening to someone shows that we care. It shows that we care about the person and what they have to say. In order to accomplish this, we have to fight the distractions we deal with in our lives that prevent us from listening. Things like social media, TV, videos, cell phones, and our to-do lists for the day. These distractions can cause people to multi-task—to listen while they are performing another task.

So, the next time you have the opportunity, really listen to your spouse or one of your children. Put aside your distractions and focus on them solely. Open your ears and close your mouth. If you find yourself trying to formulate a response instead of listening, stop. Refocus your attention and listen well. I’ll bet that your family will notice and appreciate what you’re doing. And you will win more often at home.