Kids and Communication

Audio By Carbonatix

In 2022, along with some of the counselors, coaches, and pastors who work with me at Winning At Home, I wrote a book for Salem Books called Winning at Home: Tackling the Topics that Confuse Kids and Scare Parents. It’s a helpful tool that allows parents or grandparents to read the entire book or to jump straight to the topic that addresses a current need or circumstance, making it a valuable resource for raising children ranging from school aged all the way into early adulthood.  

We have chapters that address mental health, parenting in a hypersexualized world, technology, sexuality and gender, launching kids into adulthood, and a number of other topics. Here is a small excerpt about modeling good interpersonal skills written with Dr. Emilie DeYoung, who started our division of Child and Adolescent Therapy at Winning At Home and has been leading it since 2005:

“Kids and teens today have many different options when it comes to communication. They’re used to texting, video chatting, Snapchat, TikTok, Marco Polo, and whatever new apps have been developed in the time since this chapter was written! It’s great that they’re learning the skills to communicate virtually—but unfortunately, these skills don’t often translate to communicating well in person. 

…the kids and teens that [Emilie meets] with share that they feel anxiety and a sense of unfamiliarity when they must have ‘direct’ communication with others, especially adults, over the phone or in person. With that in mind, it’s especially important to help our kids learn how to communicate confidently and well in these types of conversations. Unfortunately, adults often react with frustration or ridicule instead of taking the perspective that they can help teach the next generation. In the same way that it takes us time, energy, and practice to keep up with the apps, memes, and lingo our kids use, it will take them time, energy, and practice to learn the things that seem like common sense to people who grew up in a world that is wildly different from today’s. 

This means we will need to intentionally teach them the importance of things like eye contact, body language, and speaking clearly and at an appropriate volume. It will also include learning that much of the dark, mean-spirited, negative, and inappropriate humor that is seemingly everywhere online is not the right way to talk to people in person (or online, but that’s a different conversation covered briefly in the technology chapter). 

Knowing that our kids and teens may be learning incomplete or flat-out wrong social skills, it’s important for us to model good ones. It may help to remember that we are preparing kids for future employment and relationships by helping them learn positive and healthy communication skills.”

This book is full of practical and approachable advice with the goal of helping parents navigate some of the most challenging situations that they may be facing. Our hope is to break down each of these topics in ways that are both kind and informative. I truly believe that approaching challenging situations with the goal of being gracious and understanding will help us make a greater impact on the next generation, which, in turn, will help us all win more often at home.