Keep Dating Your Spouse

Audio By Carbonatix

As you can see from the title of this article, I have a simple message for those of you who are married. Keep dating your spouse. Yes, I know that advice is so common that it’s a cliché at this point. But many pieces of advice that have lasted long enough to become clichés reached that level because they’re true. If you are married and reading this, it’s important to keep spending time with your spouse. Don’t stop dating them just because you’re married! This is true whether you’re in the early years of marriage like many of my kids are or you’ve been married for 40 years like Jane and I have. Some of you reading this might have even been married longer than us. No matter the length of time you’ve been married, continuing to date your spouse is a key part of a successful marriage.

As you go out on dates, you’ll find that you have different conversations than you do when you’re in the regular flow of life. I don’t know exactly how or why this happens, but getting out of the house and being intentional about spending some time together changes your point of view when it comes to conversations. Instead of talking about what needs to be added to the grocery list or what chores need to be done around the house, you’ll find that it’s much easier to focus on the hopes, dreams, and goals that both of you have.

If you’re in the middle of raising kids, it’s especially important that you make some time for yourselves and have these “big picture” conversations because the busyness (and sometimes, chaos) of raising kids at all ages can overwhelm parents to the point that all they can see is the day-to-day schedule and the time and energy it can require.

When our kids were younger, I remember being jealous of the time and energy that Jane was pouring into them on a daily basis. By the end of the day, she didn’t have much energy left for me. If you’re in that phase of parenting, just know that it’s normal to feel that way sometimes. But that’s also why it’s important to take some time away together where you focus on each other instead of splitting that focus between the kids, work, household responsibilities, social schedules, and the laundry list of everything else competing for your time.

Spending time together with your spouse and prioritizing them is a great way to make sure that you’re winning more often at home.