Gentle Parenting? FAFO Parenting? Indeed, There is Nothing New Under the Sun.

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Have you heard this one? The one about that time when mankind thought they invented “Gentle Parenting,” but botched it because we are sinners, and then course-corrected by inventing “FAFO Parenting?” Google it. I shan’t spell it out.

LOL. How the Heavenly Father must laugh at us—His well-meaning, over-confident children. We reinvent the wheel, put glitter on it, and call it progress. Please. God did both first and way better!

Alas, headlines were made this week as the parenting world split into two camps.

Hugs. And Thugs.

On one side, we have the soft-voiced, granola-crusted sages of gentle parenting, whose toddlers never hear the word “no” without a full TED Talk on emotional safety.

On the other? The no-nonsense, “code-red” Colonel Nathan R. Jessups of the FAFO method—that’s “Fool Around and Find Out” for the uninitiated or Baptists. (You may have grown up under this doctrine if your dad’s favorite phrases were, “See what happens,” or “Try me, Shortstack.” Just me?) Y’all. Imagine Colonel Jessup on a parenting podcast. I’d pay real money. Picture him looming over a sobbing toddler: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH… Pressleigh!” Legend.

Culture acts like it discovered these two parenting philosophies on TikTok in ten minutes ago.

As if some over-caffeinated, highly-educated mommy blogger invented the marriage of grace AND consequences for children. Y’all, let’s not flatter ourselves.

God has been parenting His children with a holy, healthy balance of free will and even freer forgiveness since Eden.

God: The Original Gentle Parent (…with a Rod and Staff)

Gentle parenting is well-meaning and often appropriate. As long as it does not venture into overlooking sin or overestimating a child’s developmental capacity. I say this as a professional y’all–sometimes we use too many words on them babies and sometimes we conceal an abdication of responsibility behind the guise of “long-suffering” or “room to bloom.”

God, however, has perfect patience and knows exactly what we can endure or process. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. This is not the hovering we often do. The Heavenly Host does not helicopter His children, Amen? (Though I often wish He would in my case.)

Exodus 34:6 declares Him “merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.” He doesn’t yell, micromanage, or shame. He asks questions before issuing punishments (“Where are you, Adam?”). He gives warnings, second chances, 100 years of boat-building, and prophets by the dozen.

Before sending judgment. But judgment always comes. Hence, the cross.

Think of Jonah. God could’ve justifiably cut him down for disobedience. Instead, He sends a fish to Uber him back to Nineveh with time to think about his choices and let go of his big feelings. That’s gentle parenting if I’ve ever seen it.

What about Israel and the golden calf? David re: Bathsheba? Or Peter. Or the entire Old Testament. God IS gentle and just.

God doesn’t parent with rage—He parents with righteousness. He does discipline, but Hebrews 12:6 reminds us: “the Lord disciplines the one He loves.”  It’s the difference between reactive and redemptive.

Sometimes that discipline is a whisper. Sometimes it’s a flood.

The FAFO Method: Also Brought to You by the Almighty

This is essentially allowing natural consequences to do the teaching. Now, don’t mistake God’s gentleness for passivity. Because sometimes, He just lets us do the thing—and yard sale into the outcome. That’s not cruelty. That’s mercy with boundaries given by Father, with absolutely consistent character.

I used to teach my Bible students, the hard lesson of the Garden is not that God is harsh, but that God honors the wishes of His children.

Adam and Eve? Found Out.
Hey Salty Lady? Totes Found Out.
Ananias and Sapphira? Found Out…then carried out.
Israel in the wilderness? Four decades of “finding out.” Without bacon to comfort.

Romans 1 has one of the most terrifying parenting phrases ever: “God gave them over…” (v.24). In other words, “You want that sin more than Me? Okay. Let’s see what happens.”

God lets people live their choices. Not out of spite, but to show the emptiness of their idols. That’s Biblical parenting. He doesn’t swoop and rescue at the first whimper—He holds His line and waits at the door (Luke 15:20). And then He sent His Son to knock at it, offering salvation.

Biblical Parenting: Measured in the Middle

Let’s not pretend we’re wiser than the Ancient of Days. The Bible doesn’t call for permissiveness or wrath. It calls for parents to be like God—full of grace and truth (John 1:14).

Ephesians 6:4 says, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

That’s not a call to moral leniency—it’s a call to spirit-led consistency and compassion. A home where sin has consequences, but repentance comes with restoration.

Proverbs tells us that “a rod and a reprimand impart wisdom” (29:15) but also reminds us that “a gentle tongue can break a bone” (25:15). Meaning: You don’t have to shout to shepherd. You just have to stand firm and speak truth with love.

So What Does This Look Like?

• Discipline that teaches, not crushes. (Hebrews 12:11)
• Correction that restores, not shames. (Galatians 6:1)
• Boundaries enforced with clarity, not threats. (Proverbs 19:18)
• Mercy that always leaves room for return. (Luke 15)

You don’t have to pick between gentle and The General. If you’re parenting in Christ, you’re doing both—just like your Father does. 

Don’t take parenting advice found on TikTok. Unless your favorite influencer’s advice is “Read your Bible. And pray.” The Creator of the universe has been raising children since time began. And still, He calls them a blessing and bids them, “Come.”

God already holds the patent to every good parenting principal we think we have invented.

His ways are higher, His wisdom is timeless.

God is not raising snowflakes or feral anarchists. He is raising sons and daughters fit for a Heaven.

Let’s do the same.