How to Share Your Painful Past with Your Kids — and Why It Matters
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There was a time I never imagined I’d share my abortion story—not with strangers, and certainly not with my own children. But sometimes, the secrets we keep in the dark are the very stories God wants to bring into the light—for healing, for truth, and for grace.
Years ago, just before Sanctity of Life Sunday, my pastor asked me to share my testimony during the service. I hesitated. How could I share such a painful, personal decision in front of a room full of people?
More than anything, I dreaded telling my children. They were 10, 7, and 5 at the time. Would they look at me differently? Would they be angry or disappointed?
Sharing My Painful Past
After much prayer, my husband John and I sat down with them. We explained—gently, carefully, prayerfully—what abortion was, and why some women choose it. Then, I told them my story. And by God’s grace, what I feared would divide us actually brought us closer together.
Today, I want to help you do the same. If you’re carrying a painful part of your past and wondering how to share it with your children, here are five ways to prepare your heart and speak with wisdom and love.
5 Scriptures to Guide You Before the Conversation
- James 1:5
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” - Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” - Colossians 4:6
“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” - Psalm 32:5
“Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”
5 Prayers to Pray Before Tough Conversations
- A Prayer for Courage
Lord, give me the courage to speak truth in love. Help me trust You with the outcome, even when I feel afraid. - A Prayer for Tender Hearts
Jesus, soften the hearts of my children. Let them hear not only my words, but Your mercy and grace through them. - A Prayer for Clarity
Holy Spirit, guide my words. Let me speak with honesty, humility, and clarity, not from fear but from faith. - A Prayer for Healing
Father, use this conversation as a step toward healing—for me, for my family, and for anyone who hears our story. - A Prayer for Redemption
God, You are the Redeemer of all things. Take my past, my brokenness, and use it for Your glory and for good.
Why Your Story Matters
I told my kids about the abortion I had at 15. I told them how the clinic lied, how fear clouded my judgment, and how for years I lived with deep pain and regret.
But I also told them about Jesus.
I told them how I found forgiveness and healing when I surrendered my life to Him. I told them how God doesn’t waste our pain, and how He’s used my story to help other women find freedom, too.
When I finished, my children wrapped their arms around me. “It’s okay, Mom. We love you. We forgive you.” Their love didn’t change. If anything, it deepened.
The Fruit of That Conversation
Since then, we’ve had many more conversations. My children—now grown—have shared my story with friends who needed to hear that redemption is possible. They’ve seen firsthand how God uses even our greatest regrets to bring light into someone else’s darkness.
And me? I’ve continued to speak, write, and advocate for life and healing. Because I know the power of one story told in honesty and grace.
Friend, God doesn’t ask you to be perfect. He asks you to be faithful. And part of that faithfulness may mean sharing your past with your children in a way that points to the goodness of God.
If that’s you today, know this:
- Your past does not disqualify you.
- Your pain can become someone else’s healing.
- Your words, spoken in love, can shape your child’s understanding of sin, grace, and redemption.
Remember: God’s love is greater than our past, and His plans are always filled with redemption. You’re not alone. God will walk with you every step of the way.
If you or someone you know needs to speak with a counselor, Focus On The Family offers counseling with one of their licensed and TBRI-trained counselors here. For ongoing counseling, they also offer a local counselor referral service to vetted Christian counselors.
Want more insight? Join us on the Daily Bible podcast!
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Weekly readings for the Daily Bible Podcast with Tricia and Michelle
April 21
2 Samuel 3:6-39, 2 Samuel 4
Unveiling the Drama
Buckle up for a rollercoaster ride through intrigue and treachery in today’s reading! We witness the power play between David and Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, as they vie for control. Abner, Ish-bosheth’s commander, switches allegiance to David, setting off a chain of events that culminate in betrayal and murder.
The Rise and Fall of Abner:
Abner’s decision to support David triggers suspicion and violence. Joab, David’s commander, avenges his brother’s death by slaying Abner. David disavows any involvement but mourns Abner’s passing, earning respect and loyalty from Abner’s followers.
The Demise of Ish-bosheth:
Ish-bosheth meets a gruesome end at the hands of his own guards, who seek to curry favor with David. Instead, David condemns their treachery, emphasizing justice over personal gain.
Deeper Insights into David’s Character:
David’s response to Abner’s death showcases his complexity—loyal to Saul’s house yet driven by a commitment to justice. His mourning for Abner and rejection of the guards’ overtures reveal a leader guided by principle rather than expediency.
Word of the Day: Rivals
Definition: A person who is competing for the same object or goal as another, or who tries to equal or outdo another; to compete with in rivalry; strive to win from, equal, or outdo.
Today’s word, “rivals,” underscores the themes of competition and ambition that drive the narrative. The clash between David and Ish-bosheth serves as a cautionary tale about the perils of rivalry and the pursuit of power.
Personal Takeaway:
Reflecting on David’s actions, we’re reminded of the dangers of rivalry and the importance of maintaining integrity in the face of temptation. David’s unwavering commitment to justice and righteousness serves as a model for navigating conflicts with grace and integrity.
Applications:
- Overcoming Rivalry
David’s response to his adversaries challenges us to confront rivalry with humility and grace. Let us emulate David’s example by prioritizing righteousness over personal ambition.
- Aligning with God’s Will
In a world rife with competition, let us seek alignment with God’s will rather than pursuing selfish ambitions. By surrendering our desires to God, we can find fulfillment and purpose beyond the fleeting allure of rivalry.
In conclusion, today’s reading offers valuable insights into the dynamics of power, loyalty, and integrity. Join us on the Daily Bible Podcast as we delve deeper into the timeless truths of Scripture, guiding us on a journey of spiritual growth and discovery.
April 22
2 Samuel 5, 2 Samuel 6:1-11, 1 Chronicles 11:1-9, 1 Chronicles 12:23-40, 1 Chronicles 13:1-14, 1 Chronicles 14:1-2, 8-17
David Finds Favor
Today’s reading marks a pivotal moment in history as David ascends to the throne of Israel. After years of anticipation and trials, the path to kingship unfolds with both triumphs and challenges.
David Anointed King
Amidst the backdrop of tribal loyalty and political maneuvering, David is anointed king by the elders of Israel. This moment of unity signifies a new chapter for the nation, as David’s reign promises hope and stability.
The Power of Obedience
David’s obedience to God’s commands sets him apart as a leader. His rise to power is not merely a result of his military prowess but of his unwavering faith and favor from the Lord. True success, as David demonstrates, stems from obedience and seeking God’s favor.
Word of the Day: Favor
Definition: The state of being approved or held in regard.
Today’s word, “favor,” encapsulates the divine support and approval bestowed upon David. It serves as a reminder that true success is found in aligning with God’s will and receiving His favor.
Seeking God’s Favor
Reflecting on David’s journey, we’re reminded of the importance of obedience and seeking God’s favor in our own lives. Like David, let us prioritize obedience to God’s commands, knowing that His favor brings true success and fulfillment.
Applications:
- 1. Obedience Leads to Favor
- Just as David’s obedience led to God’s favor, let us seek obedience in our own lives, trusting that God’s blessings follow those who walk in His ways.
- 2. Prayer for Favor
- Instead of solely praying for favor, let us pray for obedience to God’s will, knowing that His favor accompanies those who align with His purposes.
Today’s reading offers profound insights into the dynamics of kingship, obedience, and divine favor. Join us on the Daily Bible Podcast as we explore the timeless truths of Scripture, guiding us on a journey of spiritual growth and discovery.
April 23
2 Samuel 6:12-23, 1 Chronicles 15-16
Celebrating God’s Presence
In today’s reading, we witness a momentous occasion in the history of Israel: the return of the Ark of God to the City of David. This event should be a cause for unbridled celebration, as God’s presence among His people is restored. However, amidst the jubilation, we find layers of complexity and human emotion that add depth to the narrative.
The Joy of Restoration
David, a king with a heart for God, seizes the opportunity to bring the Ark to its rightful place. Learning of the blessings upon Obed-edom’s household, he orchestrates a grand procession to relocate the Ark. Correcting past mistakes, David ensures that the Levites carry the Ark as prescribed by God’s law. The atmosphere is electric with praise, music, and David himself, dressed in a linen ephod, leads the joyful procession.
A Closer Look at Michal
However, amidst the festivities, we encounter Michal, David’s first wife, whose reaction stands in stark contrast to the celebratory mood. Her contempt for David’s exuberant worship raises questions about their tumultuous relationship. Delving into their history, we uncover a tangled web of betrayal, separation, and perhaps unrequited love. Understanding Michal’s pain prompts a deeper empathy for her character.
Word of the Day: Esteem
Definition: To regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration.
David’s reverence for God is not mere lip service but a demonstration of obedience, adoration, and high esteem for Him. David’s commitment to following God’s commands, even in the face of criticism, sets a profound example for us today.
Personal Takeaway
In our lives, how can we mirror David’s esteem for God? It’s not merely about professing admiration but about living it out daily. Just as David prioritized God’s presence and honored Him through worship, we too can demonstrate esteem by placing God at the center of our lives. Let us seek to emulate David’s unwavering commitment to God and strive to live lives that reflect true reverence and admiration for our Creator.
As we reflect on today’s reading, may we be inspired to celebrate God’s presence in our lives with the same fervor and joy as David did. Let us cultivate a heart of esteem, honoring God in all that we do.
April 24
2 Samuel 7, 2 Samuel 8:1-14, 1 Chronicles 17, 1 Chronicles 18:1-13, Psalms 60
The Davidic Covenant
Today, we embark on a journey through one of the most pivotal chapters in the Bible, where the threads of God’s plan for His people are woven into the tapestry of history. In 2 Samuel 7, we witness the unfolding of the Davidic Covenant, a promise that resonates through the ages.
Exploring the Davidic Covenant
As David contemplates building a house for God, the prophet Nathan assures him of God’s favor. However, God intervenes, revealing His divine plan: from David’s royal line will emerge a future king who will establish an eternal kingdom and build God’s temple. This covenant not only connects back to Abraham but foreshadows the Messiah, the ultimate King of Kings, Jesus Christ.
David’s Humility and Victories
David’s humility in response to God’s promises is palpable. Despite his flaws, he remains a man after God’s own heart. Through battles and victories gifted by God, David’s fame spreads throughout the land, a testament to God’s faithfulness and David’s acknowledgment of His sovereignty.
Finding Wisdom in Psalm 60
Psalm 60 emerges as a poignant reflection amidst the tumult of battles and victories. David, keenly aware of Israel’s history and God’s promises, seeks restoration and favor from God. His cry resonates with the weight of past transgressions and the hope of divine intervention.
Word of the Day: Dynasty
Definition: A sequence of rulers from the same family, stock, or group.
From the lineage of David emerges a lasting dynasty, culminating in the eternal reign of Jesus Christ. As heirs to this dynasty, we share in its blessings and its burdens, finding hope and strength in the promise of something greater than ourselves.
Embracing Our Place in God’s Story
As we reflect on the Davidic Covenant and its implications, let us embrace our role in God’s unfolding story. Just as David’s dynasty extends to us, so does the promise of sharing in Christ’s glory. In times of victory and adversity, may we find solace and strength in knowing we are part of something eternal.
April 25
2 Samuel 8:15-18, 1 Chronicles 18:14-17, 1 Chronicles 6:16-53, 2 Samuel 9-10, 1 Chronicles 19
A Dive into David’s Kingdom
Today’s reading unveils significant insights into the reign of King David, highlighting both his acts of kindness and the consequences of misguided advice.
David’s Acts of Kindness
Amidst lists of genealogy, we encounter a compassionate act from David towards Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan. Despite potential threats, David chooses kindness, restoring Mephibosheth’s land and welcoming him to dine at the king’s table.
Consequences of Misguided Advice
However, in 2 Samuel 10, we witness how misguided advice leads to disastrous consequences. King Hanun’s misunderstanding of David’s kindness results in war with Israel. Yet, amidst adversity, Joab’s leadership shines as he relies on God’s strength and guidance.
Reflections on Heman the Musician
Delving into the role of temple musicians, we explore the significance of Heman, whose psalm portrays a man acquainted with sorrow yet finds refuge in the Lord. His story reminds us that even in our darkest moments, we can turn to God for solace.
Word of the Day: Summoned
Definition: Having been called on, called forward, or ordered to come, especially for a specific purpose or to a specific place.
Reflecting on the theme of being summoned, we see contrasting outcomes: from David’s acts of kindness to the disastrous consequences of King Hanun’s misguided decisions. It prompts us to consider who or what is summoning us in our lives.
Personal Takeaway
As we ponder the narratives of kindness and consequence, let’s reflect on our responses to being summoned. May we emulate David’s compassion and Joab’s reliance on God’s strength. And may we discern wisely when faced with decisions influenced by external voices.
Applications
David’s kindness towards Mephibosheth teaches us about loyalty and friendship that extend beyond bloodlines. It’s a reminder of the power of serving others with compassion, even in the face of potential threats.
Reflecting on personal experiences of being summoned, we’re reminded of the pivotal moments that can alter the course of our lives. Let’s approach such summons with discernment and seek guidance from God in our decisions.
April 26
1 Chronicles 20:1, 2 Samuel 11, 2 Samuel 12:1-25, Psalms 51, 2 Samuel 5:14-16, 1 Chronicles 14:3-7, 1 Chronicles 3:5-9
Reflections on David’s Repentance
Today’s reading takes us deep into the tumultuous life of King David, revealing both his profound failings and his remarkable repentance. Let’s delve into the key moments and insights from this passage.
David’s Transgression and Repentance
As spring unfolds, David remains in Jerusalem while his army wages war. His idleness leads to temptation, and he succumbs to the allure of Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite, one of his loyal warriors. David’s actions spiral into deceit, leading to Uriah’s death and Bathsheba’s entrance into David’s household. However, God sends the prophet Nathan to confront David, leading to a pivotal moment of repentance. David’s prayer in Psalm 51 echoes his remorse, revealing a heart broken by sin yet longing for God’s cleansing.
Key Insights
- Bathsheba’s purification after her menstrual period serves as a poignant reminder of her pregnancy, highlighting the gravity of David’s sin.
- David’s attempt to manipulate Uriah reveals the depth of his deception and the ripple effects of his actions.
- The Holy Spirit’s role in David’s life underscores the transformative power of God’s presence, even amidst grievous sin.
Word of the Day: Purify
Definition: To make pure; free from anything that debases, pollutes, adulterates, or contaminates; to free from guilt or evil.
Reflecting on the theme of purification, we witness both physical and spiritual cleansing in today’s reading. Bathsheba’s ritual purification contrasts with David’s soul purification through repentance, reminding us of God’s redemptive grace.
Personal Takeaway
David’s journey from sin to repentance serves as a powerful example of God’s mercy and forgiveness. As we confront our own failings, may we emulate David’s humility and seek God’s cleansing and restoration in our lives.
Applications
- True purification comes from God alone, as demonstrated in David’s repentance. Let us humbly confess our sins and receive God’s cleansing grace.
- The promise of purification extends to all who seek God’s forgiveness. Through Christ’s sacrifice, our consciences are purified, enabling us to draw near to God with sincerity and devotion.
Today’s reading invites us to reflect on the profound truths of repentance and restoration found in the life of King David. As we journey through his story, may we be reminded of God’s boundless mercy and the transformative power of true confession and repentance.
April 27
2 Samuel 12:26-31, 1 Chronicles 20:2-3, 2 Samuel 13-14
Navigating the Complexities of King David’s Life
Today’s reading delves into the complexities of King David’s life, unveiling both triumphs and tragedies. Let’s journey through the key moments and reflections from this passage together.
David’s Military Campaigns and Brutality of War
Amidst the turmoil of David’s personal life, the Israelites continue their battles, showcasing the ongoing struggles of ancient warfare. Joab’s capture of Rabbah, the capital of Ammon, underscores the brutality and consequences of conflict in the ancient world.
Tragic Tale of Tamar
The heartbreaking story of Tamar unfolds, revealing the horrors of sexual violence within David’s family. Tamar’s voice speaks loudly in protest against rape, highlighting the injustices faced by women in biblical times.
Absalom’s Revenge and David’s Inaction
Absalom’s vengeance for Tamar’s assault plunges the family into further turmoil, fulfilling Nathan’s prophecy of calamity within David’s household. David’s reluctance to confront Amnon’s wrongdoing exacerbates the tensions, leading to tragic consequences.
Word of the Day: Separated
Definition: Kept apart or divided, as by an intervening barrier or space; set apart; disconnected; dissociated.
Reflecting on the theme of separation, we encounter instances of familial and spiritual disconnect in today’s reading. Despite turmoil, God’s plan for reconciliation and salvation shines through, offering hope beyond separation.
Personal Takeaway
Through the trials and tribulations of David’s family, we’re reminded of God’s unwavering commitment to reconciliation and justice. Just as God devises ways to bring us back when we’re separated from Him, His ultimate plan of salvation through Jesus offers hope beyond earthly turmoil.
- Reconciliation Through Christ: Like the wise woman from Tekoa urged David to reconcile with Absalom, God offers reconciliation through Jesus, who covers the payment for our sins and restores our relationship with Him.
- Hope Beyond Separation: Despite the inevitability of death, God’s plan of salvation offers hope beyond separation. Through Jesus, we’re united with God and granted eternal life, showcasing the depth of His love and grace.
Today’s reading prompts us to reflect on the complexities of human nature and the enduring hope found in God’s plan of redemption. As we navigate life’s challenges, may we cling to the promise of reconciliation and eternal life through Jesus Christ. Tune in to the Daily Bible Podcast for more insights and reflections!
