10 Things to Give Up This Lent to Refocus Your Singleness
Lent
Audio By Carbonatix
By Liz Lampkin, Crosswalk.com
During the season of Lent, believers make sacrificial efforts to refocus on spiritual matters and become closer to God. During this time, many believers give up certain foods or habits that may distract them from their spiritual growth. Giving something up helps us emulate Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, which He did to gain our salvation. For single Christians, many often give up physical items that may or may not seem easy to release; however, in an effort to grow spiritually, something is released. This year for Lent, singles should try releasing something different that will bring them closer to God and to understanding their gift of singleness. Many singles often look forward to changing their relationship status, and while there is nothing wrong with that desire, they often miss out on the blessings of singleness. This year for Lent, take some time to give up a few things that will help you refocus your heart, mind, and spirit on your singleness. If you don’t know where to start on this journey, take a look at the list below.
1. Social Media
Social media is a blessing and a burden. It keeps us visually updated on the lives of our loved ones, serves as entertainment and encouragement, and, at times, can provide helpful advice for those seeking it. On the other hand, social media creates false images of what life should be like, fosters a spirit of comparison, and can lower self-esteem. For many singles, social media can create feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. As singles scroll through and engage with various posts, many of them discuss relationship goals and display the appearance of happy couples. While there is nothing wrong with admiring couples and taking in dating advice, it can be discouraging for singles who don’t stand firm in their singleness. So, this year, consider taking a break from social media. Doing this will keep your mind clear, open the door to more time to read the Bible and engage in prayer, and lower any anxiety about your relationship status.
2. Dating and Dating Apps
Dating is a joy and an adventure for singles who are seeking companionship. It is a wonderful way to engage with others, discover commonalities, and build relationships. While dating is a joy, it can be a distraction from the single journey. Many singles pressure themselves to date to find “the one” God has for them. While there is nothing wrong with this, a lot of time and effort goes into dating, even if it is casual. This year for Lent, I encourage you to give up dating to refocus on your single journey. Giving up dating can shift the desire for validation through companionship, release the pressure to find the one, and help you discover wonderful aspects of singleness. Setting dating aside for 40 days won’t harm your chances of finding the one for you; instead, it will help you find who you are for yourself.
3. Past Relationships
Relationships of any kind are a blessing. While many are helpful and some are harmful, the reality is that every relationship teaches us something new about life and love and should draw us closer to God. As relationships come and go, many singles grapple with releasing memories, items, and trauma from past relationships. While it is okay to hold on to certain things from them, it’s important to know what to let go of from the past so you can refocus and move forward. Releasing past relationships during Lent can help you focus on your present relationship with God and your relationship with singleness. As you do this, take some time to pray and release thoughts about what could have been or what you believe should have been, and refocus those thoughts on present relationships and how to strengthen them. Many singles often live in the past, and that’s what keeps them stuck in the rut they’ve created about singleness. This year for Lent, release those past relationships from your heart, mind, body, and spirit so you can refocus on your singleness and be prepared to embrace your present relationship with it.
4. Other People’s Relationships
Many singles often struggle with singleness because they aren’t focused on it; they are mesmerized by others’ relationship status. They often listen intently to others as they share their romantic relationship journey, follow celebrities' relationships, or watch reality television relationships, and build their hopes and expectations for their future based on others' accounts. Singles, this year, take some time to unfocus your thoughts on others’ relationships. Doing this will keep you focused on your singleness with a clear heart and allow you to move forward in singleness as God designed it.
5. Loneliness
Loneliness is often defined as an emotional state of abandonment or a feeling of disconnection. It is a universal experience that many experience within their church congregations, families, and friendships. Many singles grapple with varying states of loneliness due to the absence of marriage or a monogamous relationship. Not only this, but many singles suffer from loneliness because they have consciously or subconsciously isolated themselves from others. For this Lenten season, singles, it’s important to release your current state of loneliness and refocus on a state of solitude to help you focus on your singleness. Giving up loneliness and transitioning it into solitude helps you focus on your singleness, shifting your mindset to release feelings of loneliness and embrace independence while depending on God. Singles, this year, let go of loneliness to refocus it into solitude to help you focus on the blessing of solitude in singleness.
6. Negative Aspect of Rejection
Rejection is something everyone endures; it hurts, and no one wants to face it. For singles, rejection can feel different. It can bring about feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Singles, this Lent, give up rejection. To do this, release past experiences of rejection by acknowledging the pain and working your way through it. You can also view rejection as a positive form of redirection and protection against known and unknown harm. While no one likes to deal with or acknowledge rejection, the reality is that it really is a blessing.
7. Sexual Activities
Sexual activities are something many single believers actively engage in, whether they want to admit it or not. And while we all know that, as believers, sex is a sacred act ordained for marriage, singles indulge in it quite often. So singles, this year for Lent, if you are sexually active in any way, give it up. Sex can be a spiritual distraction and can open up feelings of vulnerability.
8. Comparison
Comparison is the killer of all joy. When you compare your life to others, you minimize your accomplishments, goals, and blessings. It also drains you spiritually and can cause you to question God’s plan for your life. Singles, this year for Lent, let go of the spirit of comparison and focus on your singleness as God leads you. Focus on the many blessings God has granted you in every season of singleness and thank Him for the blessings that are on the way. Don’t kill the joy of singleness because you are comparing your relationship status to others.
9. Social Isolation
Social isolation plagues the thoughts and actions of singles. This happens more often than not because singles avoid social events due to their relationship status. For Lent, break out of social isolation and take some time to socialize in a way that pleases God—strengthening you in your singleness.
10. Complaining
Complaining is a verbal expression of dissatisfaction about anything. When people complain, they are often seeking validation or making vain attempts to form connections through negativity. Singles, this lent release the spirit of complaining. Stop complaining about your singleness. Stop complaining about dating. Stop complaining about being lonely and refocus your energy on God and count the many blessings He’s bestowed upon you. Complaining about situations and circumstances rarely solves any problems, so why spend good time doing it? Let go of complaining this Lent, and refocus on the things you see wrong, to things that are right in your life.
Lent is a time of celebration and sacrifice to get closer to God and the life He has destined for you. Singles, it is my sincere prayer that you identify things you need to release this Lenten season to become the person God wants you to be. To make this process real, take some time to create a plan of action for each thing you want to release, so you can focus on the fullness of your singleness and intentionally execute it every day. You’ll be surprised at how this will change your life.
Related:
10 Lenten Journal Reflections for Singles
10 Things Singles Can Focus on Other Than a Relationship
When Comparison Steals Your Joy
7 Powerful Prayers to Turn to When Your Lenten Fast Gets Tough
