Relationships

What does it mean to honor a father and mother that didn’t represent Christ? How do we, as believers, uphold this commandment while trying to figure out how to heal from the painful parts of our past?

Most of us find it hard to believe that anyone would have evil or selfish motives. As Christians, we’re taught to be servant-hearted people while caring for others as much as we do ourselves. In Sunday school, my young children learned the acronym for J.O.Y. meant, Jesus, others, then yourself. But as hard as it is to connect extreme selfishness with a Christian, narcissists do exist, even in our churches.“A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” (Luke 6:43-45)When we don’t see the wolf in sheep’s clothing, missing the red flags, we can become entangled and find it hard to separate from them. As Christians who extend grace and mercy to people in our lives as an act of love, it’s even harder. We feel guilty and selfish for thinking of ourselves by asserting boundaries as an act of protection and self-preservation. And we make excuses for the narcissist’s behavior only to see the pattern of evil and abusive tactics repeating itself over and over again.When you’re finding it hard to separate from a narcissist, these could be the reasons why.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/tommaso79

What do we do in situations where helping a person could actually encourage their problem? How do we share one another’s burdens without it becoming a strain on our finances, emotions, and/or physical health?

Give vulnerability and empathy a chance. Invite others into your struggle and enter their struggles, too. In doing so, you’ll find that these exchanges lead to healing, which brings greater resilience.

Will you let God have the pen to write your happily ever after? When it comes to human relationships, God knows what His best is for you and who you really need. If God can fashion Eve as a custom-fit rib and help mate for Adam, can He not do the same for you? Even if you have found yourself married before and divorced, even if you have given away aspects of yourself and even your own name, believe that God can restore and redeem, it is not too far gone. Ask God to forgive you for the mistakes you made without Him and instead give you what He desires to give you.

Unfortunately, in many relationships, there tends to be a narcissist involved. Within family dynamics, friendships, and romantic relationships, there is a narcissist somewhere within the group. While not all relationships have a narcissist involved, at times, we might find that we are the narcissist in the relationship. A narcissist is never a good thing to be called, yet if we become aware of our own narcissistic behaviors, we will be better at changing them.Here are seven signs you might be the narcissist in your relationship:Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Wavebreakmedia

Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:43-45), including those we see or deem as not so easy to love. The truth is, when we pray for them, we begin to see them in a different way. Our hearts soften, and something profound happens – God gives us a chance to understand the greatness of His incredible and indescribable love for us.

Understanding that every person is made in the image of God helps me to see people as they actually are. Our battle is not against flesh and blood. My “enemy” probably isn’t actually my enemy.

We believe that nothing happens by chance and that we can learn from everything God allows us to go through. As time has passed, we have been able to see that being misunderstood and even judged was allowed to happen and has been used to make us more like Jesus. God has been equipping us to be able to serve him better and to serve the church better. He allowed us to be judged and misunderstood so that we would know how it feels, be careful to assume the best of others, and not judge another member of the body of Christ.

Instead of trying to fix someone else, you can offer your support through prayer and genuine empathy. Trusting in God’s sovereignty, you can release your desire to control the situation and allow His perfect plan to unfold.

No one gets married to see it dissolve. Two people are drawn to each other and make the decision to start a life together that they want to last forever; and yet, about 50% of those who walk down an aisle end up either divorced, separated, or having one mate gone forever. And sometimes domestic violence rears its ugly head.Domestic violence doesn't just appear one day; there are certain signs that a relationship is unhealthy. Here are 10 behaviors that may lead to domestic violence.Photo credit: ©Getty/Serghei-Turcanu

Inevitably, all of us will eventually suffer unjust treatment. We will be treated unfairly, be misunderstood, and our motives will be misinterpreted and questioned. We are responsible for ourselves and the condition of our own hearts before God. We can only do so much to try and make things right; then, we need to leave it in the hands of our loving Father, who allows us to experience unjust treatment for his purposes and our sanctification.

If you're experiencing an unhappy marriage, here are 8 things to remember from the Bible. May the Word of God help you to solve your marital issues.

Sometimes friendships end because you've hurt each other. These wounds can go deep, yet God calls us to live above reproach. This means we give up our right to get in the last word, justify our bad behavior, or get revenge. We have to allow God to be the one who makes things right for us. Trust that he is still working in both of your lives and will find ways to teach you through this ordeal. It's tough not to want to defend ourselves when we feel wronged, but it's not our job.

When she actually faced her thoughts, she realized how consistently mean, degrading, negative, and unhealthy they were. When I asked her to see if she could find a pattern – she realized she was stuck in a spiral of thoughts with a theme of inadequacy. She was never good enough. Not in her personal life, not in her marriage, not in her friendships, not as a mom, a homemaker, or a businesswoman. Her thoughts always pointed out where she wasn't measuring up, fixating on all that was lacking. Her thoughts were not only hurting her; they were hurting her relationships.