Grandparenting

Grandparents who help with the family’s homeschool program gain immense satisfaction and enjoyment from helping their grandchildren grow and mature. Grandchildren who learn from grandparents forever cherish the memories of the time they spent together.

I’m writing to remind you of truths that are easy to overlook when you’re hurting: the long-term value of prayer and the mysterious working of the Lord to save.

Think back to your childhood. I bet you can repeat (probably verbatim and with all the right inflections) some of the “wise words” you heard your grandparents say.My grandmother was a Portuguese immigrant who loved coffee, cake, and laughter. She raised chickens, crocheted doilies, and made the most amazing Portuguese doughnuts. She dropped out of school after the fourth grade to work in the textile mills in Rhode Island, but she loved to read and encouraged me to do the same.Her favorite maxims included: “You may not be rich, but you can be clean,” "Hard work never hurt anyone," and “Don’t spend what you haven’t earned.”Granny’s wholehearted commitment to her grandchildren enriched our lives in many ways. It blessed my parents, too, because they knew we were safe in Granny’s care. Not only did she create a physically safe environment, she fostered an emotionally safe one, too.Now that I’m a grandmother, I want to follow her example and bless my adult children by the way I interact with my grandchildren. I know from my grandmother’s example that the words I say are important.If you share my desire to be a blessing, here are 10 things your adult children wish you’d say to your grandchildren.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

As the older generation, we must choose to think biblically about our value and role within the church and our family by speaking the truth of Scripture to ourselves as we "fan into flame the gift of God" (2 Timothy 1:6) that lies within each of us, and do not "become weary in doing good."

When our grandchildren become independent adults, we have a unique opportunity to continue to see them with the heart and mind of God, prayerfully seeking the Holy Spirit to direct us in our relationship and mindset toward them, as they experience the choosing and growing pains that come with the adult experience.

Although your children no longer need you to make decisions for them, your support and guidance is still very much needed. What are some ways parents still act as encouragements and rally behind adult children?

Millenials.Emotions may be triggered by that one word for many.May I pose a question?Do you realize they are our legacy?The babe that babblesThe two-year-old that toddles and tumblesThe teen that tests limits – and tempts fateThe young adult – the millennial – that begins “adulting”The older adult that is now parentingWhat connects these statements? Children. They are our children.It’s our responsibility to mold and shape the next generation, one child at a time. Like every generation before them, the generation behind us needs to know one thing – they matter. Specifically that they matter to you, their parent. And our words matter – possibly more than we realize.There are things we need to say – and not say – to build confidence, esteem, and self-respect at each stage of their lives. If we don’t support our children, who will? And where will they turn? And what will they turn to for solace when they cannot find it from us?So many things can tear a person down, not all can be addressed in a single article. Let’s look at a few that have a powerful but negative impact on our kids. Like poison kills a person, poisonous words kill the spirit and soul of a person.Regardless of your age, what would you not want to hear your parents say to you? With that in mind, here are 10 things not to say to your adult children:

While grandparenting is super fun and easygoing the majority of the time, sometimes, unexpected conflicts arise. The important thing to remember is, most conflicts can be handled calmly and confidently.

Adding a child to your family is a monumental life event. Once you welcome your child into your home, nothing ever goes back to the way it was. Your precious little one forever changes your life, home, marriage, and more!Knowing this is the case, we do all we can to prepare and support each other as we anticipate the expansion of our families. Baby showers, meal trains, advice, and more come pouring in from our loved ones while we are expecting. This support is vital to navigating this season of growth and change. Yet, sometimes we find that these well-meaning gestures can bring extra stress rather than add to our joy. Advice can be frightening. Baby gifts can be unnecessary. Visits to meet your new bundle can feel overwhelming.Everyone is different, so how we come alongside new parents will be unique in every situation. Mostly, we just need to be present and available to be with parents so they know they are not alone as they learn their new normal. Ask them what they need. Their answer should be your guide on how to be their tribe.Here are some ideas of things you could ask if a new couple would like from you as they grow their family:

Getting older brings clarity to what’s important. While we want our grandkids to remember their times on Papa’s farm, we want to leave them with a godly legacy. With this goal in mind, let’s look at what every grandparent should tell their grandchildren.

As Lois followed Christ, she had a clear and lasting influence on her household that can be seen to have had an impact on the good of generations to come through the mission work of Timothy, and the correspondence from Paul to Timothy.

Let’s face it. Life is crazy and our schedules are full.Even if—some might say especially if—we’re retired from our careers, many of us have more to do “than we can say grace over.” But we can’t let all that activity keep us from fulfilling one of our most important responsibilities.Our grandkids need us to intercede on their behalf. We live in perilous times. Throughout history this has almost always been the case, but the year 2020 tightened the screws on our anxiety levels. Potential for disaster lies just beyond the next flip of the calendar page.However, even if life was all honey and no bees, it wouldn’t change the truth. Grandparents can—and should—pray powerful prayers for our precious grandchildren.The Bible gives clear instruction that we ought always to pray in Luke 18:1. It also provides direction for our prayers—helping us know what to pray. We’ll identify 5 themes here.Beyond general themes, Scripture also provides guidance on what to say, offering many examples of people who prayed—complete with their actual words—and who received marvelous results from a merciful, kind Heavenly Father.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes

For Christmas one year, my oldest daughter gave me a tutu. It was a fetching pink-and-green tulle number she’d made herself, with help from my seamstress mom. My then-teenager gave it to me not because I’m a dancer or because I had anywhere in particular to wear it, but because she was familiar with one of the less-than-fulfilling pieces of my life story and wanted to do something about it. She knew that when I was about eight years old and was, briefly, a dancer, I’d been in a production of the ballet “Hansel and Gretel.” My class had been cast as gingerbread men, so while all the other dancers flitted around in pink satin, I wore a brown polyester jumpsuit, complete with painted brown ballet shoes. I’d told this story, laughingly, to my children enough times that finally, that Christmas, my daughter decided to write a new chapter. The best thing about her gift was not the tutu itself—darling though it was (and is… tucked in its dedicated spot in my antique dresser)—but what it showed me about how my big kid knew me, knew what had bothered me…and had allowed it to bother her, then taken action on my behalf. My grown kids and I are still navigating how to do life with each other in a new season, but this far along, I’m grateful to have already unwrapped seven gifts of ongoing relationship with them. Photo Credit:©GettyImages/Image Source

Pulling away, exerting their independence, and keeping us at arm’s length are some of the ways adult children communicate their need to find their own way in the world. When this happens, many of us wonder what we've done wrong instead of remembering what we’ve done right.While it’s not always easy to accept, adult children need to make a break from dependence on their parents and move into a life of healthy independence. Even though it can be an uncomfortable season, it’s not necessarily a bad season.Most adult children want their parents to know that they still love and value them, but they need some time and space to figure things out.Here are 7 more things adult children want their parents to know. Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/greenleaf123

In a landscape where many influences tug at the hearts and minds of our grandchildren, how can we get them to recognize the value of our faith? What would make them want to follow in our footsteps and believe in Jesus for salvation? These are crucial questions for us to consider as the world pulls our grandchildren in various directions - often away from God.If you're a grandparent who wants to pass on your faith, the first step is recognizing the value you bring to the table. The light you shine for Jesus may very well light the path for your grandkids to surrender their life to Christ. Keep shining, keep believing, and keep the faith.Here are five reasons a grandparent's faith means so much:

Grandparents are the best gift to their children and grandchildren! They offer invaluable advice, a special kind of love for their grandkids, and the gift of free childcare. What would we do without them?We know grandparents have every good intention at heart, but... some things they do drive us parents crazy and create unnecessary stress. Here are some things that you might want to be aware of in your goal of lightening the parents' load.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Fizkes

This past weekend our kids spent the morning with their grandparents so my husband and I could attend church on our own. When we came to pick them up our three kids, they all begged to stay the rest of the day.That evening when they finally came home my middle son declared that he had a blast that day! I promise you my parents did nothing special with my kids. They didn’t take them to the store or on a special outing. It was just them being togethersnuggling, reading, playing games, and watching movies that constituted ablastfor my son!This joy, support, and love that grandparents offer is so very important and impossible to fully quantify. Grandparents offer wisdom to those of us struggling through our parenting years and grace for grandkids that they can spoil in sweet snippets.Grandparents are marriage savers as many times they can offer dependable and safe childcare for always-needed date nights. Grandparents even step in as parents to their grandchildren when their own children become parents before they are ready or lack the skills they need to parent on their own.Grandparents are an invaluable asset to the upcoming generation.What roles do we see grandparents filling in our society? The answer is so many! As life expectancy has increased the amount of shared life between grandchildren and grandparents has increased.The love and support shared between them has grown too! Let’s explore some of the ways grandparents fill hugely important roles for their families.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund

Perhaps fear has caused you to hesitate too. You may worry about anger directed toward you. Or you may fret about destroying your relationship with your non-believing children and being cut off from your grandkids. But God addresses these common fears.

These days grandparents have a lot of competition for the grandchildren's attention. If it's not sports, dance, or other activities that keep the kids occupied, then often, they're glued to their tablets or video games with little time for anything else.But let's face it. Sometimes everyone needs some Grandma or Grandpa time, but finding fun and creative things to do together can be challenging. Children have a litany of interests that vary from personality to personality, but usually, there is something you can find to do. Sometimes you just need a list of suggestions to get you started. I've compiled some tried and true fun activities to do with your grandkids that don't cost an arm and a leg, encourage imagination, and, best of all, help grow relationships.Photo credit: ©GettyImages/DuxX

“What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.” —Rudy GiulianiI still remember the simple lessons taught to me by my grandmother Helen. She taught me how to stitch a straight line, how to fold tea towels, and how to pray. The time she spent with me, and the things she passed on, are still invaluable treasures that I cherish.Throughout history, grandparents have played a central role in the lives of their children and grandchildren. There is even a Grandparents Day, put into place by President Carter in 1978, to celebrate how important grandparents are.Today, let’s take a few moments to stop and reflect on the value of grandparents—past or present. Let’s dive into a few Scriptures that offer beautiful words of affirmation about the aged—words that show just how important grandparents truly are.Photo Credit:©GettyImages/Halfpoint